It's been a few months now...

I think that today is the perfect day to update everyone on our journey.  Today is National Coming Out Day!  And it's been just a few months since we, as a family, came out to the world that Damian is a transgender male.

http://youknownothingmommy.blogspot.com/2016/07/living-authentically.html

Since then, I have been showered with support from friends and family.  This means the world to me.  Of course, our immediate family has been so wonderful.  My parents, Chris' parents, our siblings have all been supportive and switched gender pronouns and to the new name.  Over the summer when I was in New York City, my cousin (who is more like a brother) and his wife and I had some amazing long talks about everything, including the transition.  And recently, I got Facebook messages from my aunt and a phone call from an uncle who said, in no uncertain terms, that we have all their love and support and that they were proud of how we were handling the transition.  Such support is amazing to hear because it helps me continue on.  But what is even more amazing to me is that such support is in spite of the fact that some of my friends and family don't understand what "transgender" means.

And that's ok with me.

I would rather get questions about it.  I would rather someone say that they don't understand what this means and to ask me for an explanation.  I would rather someone say "I don't know what this means" than to sit quietly and slip away from our world because they were afraid or uncomfortable to ask me.  Damian is probably not ready to be the source of all the information, but in the last couple of months, he has grown so much and further understands what it means to be transgender.  I definitely don't have all the answers, but for now, I'm willing to take the brunt of the uncomfortable questions to give Damian the space to grow in self-confidence.

My uncle said to me that he didn't know yet what questions to ask.  This made me laugh and tear up at the very same time because that was the EXACT same response I had when Damian came out to Chris and me.

It's been quite the year for us.  It seems like to me that this transition has consumed our daily lives.  And it should for now.  But there isn't a day that goes by when I have to remember that I now have a son and a daughter instead of two daughters.  I can no longer shout "GIRLS!" when I need them both to come out of their rooms.  Instead, I have started to yell "KIDS!"  Just recently, a former teacher of Damian's asked me how my girls are doing.  I took a few moments to tell them what happened...and that now I have a son.  This former teacher said "Congratulations on your new son!".  I think that is exactly the right response I needed to hear.  It felt so positive.

One thing that has come out of our experiences are some new partnerships.  We have found a great support system, one that has a component for parents AND for the transgender kids.  Chris and I started going to this group back in February and I remember vividly that first meeting - I cried the ENTIRE time.  And last month? I was the one helping a new parent who was also crying almost the entire time.

I've come a long way, baby!

This partnership has been a blessing.  Damain looks forward to those meetings too - he is coming out of his shell.  He has always been my shy kid.  Well, now he is training to lead a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) club at school, wants to learn how to advocate for transgender youth, and maybe even go into gender studies as a major.  We are looking forward to a conference at the end of the month at USC all about LGBTQ issues.  Damian is learning to advocate for himself at school through the new GSA club. He is navigating the name change through school.

And for now I'm dealing with the constant mindfulness that I have of my new son and the many changes this has brought to our lives.