What's the big deal about Political Correctness?

What does being "Politically Correct" mean?  According to Merriam-Webster Online, it means "conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend political sensibilities (as in matters of sex or race) should be eliminated"

I got into an argument with a "friend" on Facebook a few days ago and it didn't end well.  He was livid about having to be politically correct about the word "fag".  In his view, it used to mean "asshole" and why can't it still be used that way.

Guess what?  Times change.  People are living more authentically and out loud, regardless of who knows, and minorities are not just sitting down and shutting up.  They are learning that their place is no longer in silence or in the back of the bus or in the closet.  Those in power (and as a generalization that was straight, white, and male) could do and say whatever they wanted with very little regard to consequence.  They were allowed to also dole out consequences to people who would do and say things they didn't like.

Now, while there are still plenty of consequences for minorities and other groups to do and say what they want, but there is also more expectation that there be consequences for the previously-in-power when they say or do something that violates another person's well-being.  And they don't like that.  Hence their anger towards what they call Political Correctness.  Apparently we (liberals, minorities) are "snowflakes" when we want to be treated equality or with kindness or to have our very existence simply accepted.

I saw this online by Michael Bernard, a writer on HuffPost, Slate, and other such sites:
"Pro-tip: whenever someone is moaning about political correctness, ask them what it is they would like to say if they weren’t constrained. Then don’t be surprised if it is demeaning, derogatory or disrespectful to people who traditionally were considered inferior to the person."

Honestly, this is pretty spot on.  Political correctness isn't supposed to be about stifling freedom of expression.  It IS about acknowledging that there are others out there who are different from us and who deserve the same level of respect and acceptance as those who are traditionally allowed to simply live their life.

I think that a lot of opponents of political correctness don't quite understand it.  Here's a great example of this: 

It's not politically incorrect to say those things in a home and I don't believe that the majority of the left or politically correct crowd believes that any of these things are inherently wrong to say.  Someone said "Merry Christmas" to me the other day and I said it back, even though I am not Christian.  WHOA!  We celebrate it as a day to give gifts - not as a religious holiday.  But when someone said it to me, I said it back.  No big deal.  I say "Happy Holidays" because I acknowledge that there is more than one religion in the world and I live in a religiously-diverse city.  I don't say "God bless the USA" but I don't mind when someone else says - UNLESS it is to mean that no other country can also be blessed.  Tolerance is key - not necessarily acceptance.  There is a difference.

Getting back to the argument online I had, part of my response was that people who oppose using the word "fag" feel that way because of the derogatory nature in which that word is so often used.  The fact that he meant it to mean "asshole" about someone else proved my point right there.  But he didn't see that.  It was just a word, he claimed.  And that's what a lot of opponents of political correctness say - they are just words and people need to toughen up.

And yet:

If not me, then who?

Yesterday, someone asked me if I'm stepping down from any of my volunteer positions in the coming school year.

For those of you who don't know, I volunteer with PTA and with Girl Scouts a lot.  On the PTA side, I'm on the board at Nadia's middle school and I'm on the board at the PTA Council level (Council oversees 12 school PTAs in the local area with training and support).  I've been involved with PTA for 8 years now at various schools and at the Council level for 4 years now.

On the Girl Scout side, I am a troop leader for Nadia's troop (I was involved with Damian's troop when he was in elementary and middle school, not so much now though).  I started Nadia's troop when she was in 2nd grade, so this is my 6th year as a leader.  I'm also the manager of our local Service Unit - it's similar to the PTA Council in that we oversee troops in the local area, but there are about 40 troops of all levels and sizes.  This is my 3rd year as SUM.  It's a lot of work, especially during Girl Scout Cookie season!  But I love this position a lot.

Anyway, back to the question...by the time I answered it, I was rambling on.  My answer was so convoluted because I am stepping down from a couple of positions in PTA but taking on another one at the District level, which I'm not thrilled about.  (District oversees about 120 local PTAs in the San Fernando Valley.)  And it got me thinking - why am I doing it if it's not making me happy?  Or is it?  I'm not a weak person to just say yes to everything someone asks me to do.

I know some of you are raising your eyebrows at me.  No, really, I'm not.  I CAN say no if I really want to.  I have said no a few times - just not very often.  lol

The thing is that change needs to happen in our schools.  At so many levels, change needs to happen.  Having been involved in schools on various levels and committees, I see where some of those changes need to happen.  And if we all say "well, that won't affect me or my kid" then how will anything change?  That mentality happens all the time, and not just in the schools.  I know I've said it to myself when I'm tired or overwhelmed with everything that I have to do.  We've all said it - some more than others, but that's for another post.  But we have to band together to make things better for society as a whole.

And so...if not me, then who?

If not you, then who?

Love what you do - do what you love - volunteer for your passion

So, I volunteer a lot.  People who know me, know this is true.  Sometimes to the chagrin of my
husband and my children, no doubt.  But yeah, I volunteer for a couple of different organizations. 

PTA - not just at my kids' schools, where I was Treasurer for two years and then President for three years, but also at the next level.  I was Council President and now am Council Treasurer - the Council I'm in oversees 12 local schools and their PTAs.  I've been nominated to move up to the District, which oversees the entire San Fernando Valley.  I have resisted that move for a while now because I feel that the further I get from the local schools, the less impact my time will have on the kids - which is the whole reason to volunteer.

I also volunteer with Girl Scouts.  I have been a leader since 2011 when Nadia was in 2nd grade.  I have loved being a leader.  Sometimes, the parents are hard to deal with and sometimes the kids have serious attitudes, but overall, I truly believe in the Girl Scout mission to cultivate girls with courage, confidence, and character, now more than ever.  And with Girl Scouts, I have moved up the ranks too - troop leader (which I still am), to Service Unit product sales support, to Service Unit Manager.  I oversee about 40-45 troops in our local area.  It can be an exhausting position, but everytime we have a troop leader meeting (once a month all the leaders get together to get info and exchange ideas), I walk away feeling really good about the support I am giving to our local leaders (along with my Service Unit Management Team).  That support flows directly to supporting the girls in those troops - leaders who are happy and feel supported translate to fun and active troops.

I volunteer because I feel passionately about these two organizations.  But I'm still waiting for the cash to start rolling in.

Say, what?

Well, there is all this advice out there about doing what you love and feel passionate about and the success/money will come.  I'm following that - I love supporting kids and other adults who support kids (like teachers and troop leaders).  I've been doing this since 2008.  And every year it seems to get more and more time consuming.  But I have yet to see any kind of monetary payout.

Are you sure about that?

Yeah, yeah, I know that the skills I use in volunteering, like event planning, human resources, time management, and project management can translate into a career and money.  Ok, fine, I'll stop waiting for the money to start falling from the sky!


All kidding aside and getting back to passions...one of the reasons I volunteer is because I have a passion for fun.  And I volunteer with some seriously funny people!  Some of these people have become true friends and sisters in the cause.   People who I just adore and LOVE to hang out with them.  I also have a passion for kids, which is how I chose the organizations I support.  And I have a passion for making a difference.  After all, if not me, then who?

But a lot of people don't realize that when the fun stops, when the support doesn't get to the intended audience, then the reason for volunteering stops.  Who is going to give their free time to something that isn't giving them SOMETHING back (not money).  Giving them a purpose, giving them a sense of satisfaction, giving them some fun!

Volunteering can be serious work.  I always hated when someone said they would do something and then bailed.  Just because it's a volunteer thing doesn't mean that someone isn't relying on you doing what you said you were going to do!  Because if you say you're going to do something, say run a table at the carnival, and then you back out or even worse, don't show up, then someone else has to scramble to fill your position with another volunteer.  So, while it can (and should!) be fun, it's also something to consider carefully.  Don't just say yes without every intention to do your best.

Because what is just fun for you may just be a passion for someone else.

Women's March LA 2017

What an amazing experience going to the Women's March in Los Angeles was last week!  I took both Damian and Nadia with me, but unfortunately Chris had to work, otherwise he would have gone with us too.

We got to the subway station at Universal City at 8am and met up with two other Girl Scout leaders.  We didn't go as a Girl Scout event, but my friends just happened to be Girl Scout leaders too.  The three of us just took our own kids.  Nadia wore her Girl Scout vest there.  Anyway, so we met up with them at 8am.  Luckily we found parking pretty easily in one of the nearby lots.  There were so many people going so the energy in the air was exciting.  We saw lots of cool signs too.

Getting on a subway was crazy.  We went down to the platform.  The first train that came, we couldn't get on, but got closer to the front of the line.  The second train that came, same thing.  The third train, we decided that if only a few of us could push our way on, then we'll just meet back up at the destination (Pershing Square).  Two of our group were pushing on...the daughter got on but not the mother, so that didn't work.  Then we decided to follow someone else's advice - we got on the train going the other way towards North Hollywood (the end of the line) and just stayed on at the end while the train turned around to back down towards downtown.  In the end, that worked out for us.  Makes sense because the traffic at North Hollywood was CRAZY as I drove by it to go to Universal.


It was a long and stuffy ride to Pershing Square.  The kids were complaining but there was nothing to do about it.  Finally we got there and it took a while to get out of the station.  And then...we waited.  We moved along towards Pershing Square inch by inch - some people were being rude but I think they were mostly people who lived in the area or had to still go to work through that.  I can't imagine.

I think what happened was that there were so many people there that it overwhelmed the organizers and the original route just wasn't happening.  That's what happened in DC and I think that's what happened in LA too.  So many people that there wasn't really a way to march anywhere.  So, we ended up turning around and walking towards City Hall via a different route.


So we marched, listened to and participated in the chanting, and enjoyed the hope that was clear throughout the day.  There wasn't a lot of anger being displayed - there was some through some of the signs, but it really was about being a part of something bigger, being a part of a statement.  It was so energetic to be around that many people who were coming together for the same cause - equal rights.  It was not just a women's cause - it was about equality for all.

It's not about losing an election

Some people seem to think that I, and, maybe, Democrats in general, are just sore losers.

Maybe some of us are. I'm definitely in the mood to throw a tantrum (and have a little bit on Facebook). I know I feel as though we were robbed. Secretary Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. More people wanted her to be President than Donald Trump. Once again, Democrats, nay, the American People, were ignored during an election. Never mind how we've been ignored in the last few years by the Republican Congress...

But I digress.

We are not just sore losers. We are dealing with grief. And there are several stages to that.

Right now, I'm in the anger stage.

I am angry that someone who has publicly stated that women should be punished for abortions has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who supports conversion therapy to turn gay people straight has been elected Vice President.

I am angry that someone who has bragged about sexually assaulting women has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who has time and time again called for violence against those who disagree with him has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who has cheated hard working people out of fair pay has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who wants to ban Muslims (who happen to look like me sometimes) has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who wants to ban gay marriage has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who has called for discrimination against LGBTQ people has been elected Vice President.

I am angry that the freedom to love and marry who you want regardless of sex will be taken away from my children by our new leaders.

I am angry that acts of violence against People of Color, against other religions, against the LGBTQ community has no been legitimized by the President-elect.

I am angry because I live in a country that now thinks it is ok to elect a racist, misogynistic, bigoted bully to the highest offices in the land and have those be the representatives of America to the rest of the world.

And then the same people who stood in the way of President Obama's political and social agenda, who called him and his family racist slurs, who wished him death, these are the same people who now say we should give Trump and Pence a chance and bring the country together?

The double standard is strong with the Grand Old Party.

Yes, I am angry right now. This is the stage I am in today. And I will get through it. I just can't feel this way forever, right?? Tomorrow, I start looking for ways to channel that anger into positive work.

#NotMyPresident.

Faith in Activism (or in other words, Politics on the Internet)

It's political season and the Internet debates are getting ramped up.  I've been known to get into threads with people and start discussing/debating about things like abortion, affordable healthcare, common-sense gun regulations (or the lack thereof).  At some point in the conversation though, these days pretty early in the conversation, I get tired.  And that's when I'll throw out, "show me proof of your side".  If the other person doesn't do that, then I know it's pointless because they're not willing to back up why they believe in something with facts or they can't.  I especially get frustrated when they don't bother to read what I've brought to the discussion.  This is illustrated in a number of ways:

1. Any sources I share will be immediately slammed as being biased (and if I've come prepared with research, I try very hard to use unbiased sources).

2. The other person won't bother to read it simply just because of the URL it comes from.

3. The other person is unwilling to do any reading up on the issue that may disagree with their pre-conceived notions.  I feel that if you're truly openminded about something, you'll read up on all side of the subject.  It's good to know the opposition.  In the past, when presented with sources, I have taken the time to read them.  You take the time to find them for me, I will take the time to read them.  And yes, my thoughts on certain subjects have changed based on what I've read.

4. The other person doesn't disengage their emotions from the debate.  That's usually when the insults come out.

It's got me thinking, how do activists (on either side of any debate) continue on in the face of unwavering opinions and just plain stubbornness and unwillingness to listen and/or have reasonable debate?? Especially when you've gotten to the point that you're doing this as a job - working for a policy house or an organization that fights for a particular issue. Change is ever so slow and sometimes you're taking steps backwards in the hopes that a compromise will clear the way for more progress later.

My thought is that they have faith. Faith that what they are working for is the right thing to do.  Faith that their goal is possible.  Faith in the future that they envision for their children is not that far off.  Faith that their message is being heard and will make it to the people who can make the change, whether it is the change in one person's mind, change in societal norms, or change in policy.

Sometimes faith is all you have to keep you going in a tough fight.  But without it, what is to keep people fighting on for their beliefs?  Some of the most important changes in the world came about because someone had faith in the ability of the human race to change.