Cocoon of love and acceptance

I haven't written since the election.  So much has happened since then.  I have so many topics brewing in my head.  But today, I write about Thanksgiving week.

Thanksgiving week was a banner week for our family.  The four of us traveled to Atlanta to attend my cousin's wedding.  We went back and forth about going, quite honestly, because of a variety of reasons.  But ultimately we made the decision for the kids.  Damian and Nadia really wanted to go and one of the reasons they wanted to go was to see family.

That right there makes me happy on so many levels.  The fact that they are old enough to have family as a reason to go somewhere new is wonderful.  They wanted to see family they knew but hadn't seen in a while and also to meet family they had never met or don't remember meeting.  You see, I had a lot of family from India traveling to the wedding too. And since we don't get to go to India very often, this was an opportunity that was too good to pass up.

Another reason this makes me happy is because of Damian.  I have had nothing but support and love from my family about his transition.  Emails and messages and phone calls saying that, despite not quite understanding what being transgender means, we have their unconditional love and support.  That Damian is a treasured member of our extended family.  This knowledge made him want to go to this family gathering.

My God it brings tears to my eyes even now - this amazing cocoon of love and acceptance.  We are so very lucky and blessed.

My beautiful family

So, we went to the wedding.  We spent a week surrounded by family and friends who treated Damian as if nothing was different about him, as though nothing had changed since the last time they had seen him, as though he had always been Damian. And he had amazing conversations with people about politics, about his interests, about his transition.  He bonded with his cousins, he bonded with uncles and aunties, and I basked in the sight of him smiling and being happy.  I delighted in him wearing a kurta to the wedding and a suit to the reception.  I thoroughly enjoyed dancing with him at the reception.  He was a young man and happy and at ease.

Dancing with my son

I don't know that he would ever been as at ease in his previous identity.  There is something different about him now - I mean, other than the obvious.  It's his mannerisms - his ability to be his true self.  His ability to BE.  He seems to laugh easier now.  His confidence has definitely gone up.

Back to the wedding week.  The true measure of its success is the fact that when we came home, we spent a full day feeling lonely.  Even though the four of us were together, we missed everyone and the loud cacophony that is my extended family.  It was reminiscent of when I was a kid and we came back from summers in India and we were just so depressed because it was just too quiet in our house.  Luckily, we only had a day before the schedule of school and work started up for us after Thanksgiving, but that Sunday was spent unpacking and talking about the week and being sad that it was over.

There is a lot of love in this picture

But I felt true gratitude too.  I am grateful for the open mindedness they practice.  For the acceptance they share.  For their ability to say "I don't understand but I still love and support you."  For their willingness to ask questions and open their hearts to the answers.

This world needs so much more of that.

*Pictures by Venkat Kuttua Photography