If not me, then who?

Yesterday, someone asked me if I'm stepping down from any of my volunteer positions in the coming school year.

For those of you who don't know, I volunteer with PTA and with Girl Scouts a lot.  On the PTA side, I'm on the board at Nadia's middle school and I'm on the board at the PTA Council level (Council oversees 12 school PTAs in the local area with training and support).  I've been involved with PTA for 8 years now at various schools and at the Council level for 4 years now.

On the Girl Scout side, I am a troop leader for Nadia's troop (I was involved with Damian's troop when he was in elementary and middle school, not so much now though).  I started Nadia's troop when she was in 2nd grade, so this is my 6th year as a leader.  I'm also the manager of our local Service Unit - it's similar to the PTA Council in that we oversee troops in the local area, but there are about 40 troops of all levels and sizes.  This is my 3rd year as SUM.  It's a lot of work, especially during Girl Scout Cookie season!  But I love this position a lot.

Anyway, back to the question...by the time I answered it, I was rambling on.  My answer was so convoluted because I am stepping down from a couple of positions in PTA but taking on another one at the District level, which I'm not thrilled about.  (District oversees about 120 local PTAs in the San Fernando Valley.)  And it got me thinking - why am I doing it if it's not making me happy?  Or is it?  I'm not a weak person to just say yes to everything someone asks me to do.

I know some of you are raising your eyebrows at me.  No, really, I'm not.  I CAN say no if I really want to.  I have said no a few times - just not very often.  lol

The thing is that change needs to happen in our schools.  At so many levels, change needs to happen.  Having been involved in schools on various levels and committees, I see where some of those changes need to happen.  And if we all say "well, that won't affect me or my kid" then how will anything change?  That mentality happens all the time, and not just in the schools.  I know I've said it to myself when I'm tired or overwhelmed with everything that I have to do.  We've all said it - some more than others, but that's for another post.  But we have to band together to make things better for society as a whole.

And so...if not me, then who?

If not you, then who?

Love what you do - do what you love - volunteer for your passion

So, I volunteer a lot.  People who know me, know this is true.  Sometimes to the chagrin of my
husband and my children, no doubt.  But yeah, I volunteer for a couple of different organizations. 

PTA - not just at my kids' schools, where I was Treasurer for two years and then President for three years, but also at the next level.  I was Council President and now am Council Treasurer - the Council I'm in oversees 12 local schools and their PTAs.  I've been nominated to move up to the District, which oversees the entire San Fernando Valley.  I have resisted that move for a while now because I feel that the further I get from the local schools, the less impact my time will have on the kids - which is the whole reason to volunteer.

I also volunteer with Girl Scouts.  I have been a leader since 2011 when Nadia was in 2nd grade.  I have loved being a leader.  Sometimes, the parents are hard to deal with and sometimes the kids have serious attitudes, but overall, I truly believe in the Girl Scout mission to cultivate girls with courage, confidence, and character, now more than ever.  And with Girl Scouts, I have moved up the ranks too - troop leader (which I still am), to Service Unit product sales support, to Service Unit Manager.  I oversee about 40-45 troops in our local area.  It can be an exhausting position, but everytime we have a troop leader meeting (once a month all the leaders get together to get info and exchange ideas), I walk away feeling really good about the support I am giving to our local leaders (along with my Service Unit Management Team).  That support flows directly to supporting the girls in those troops - leaders who are happy and feel supported translate to fun and active troops.

I volunteer because I feel passionately about these two organizations.  But I'm still waiting for the cash to start rolling in.

Say, what?

Well, there is all this advice out there about doing what you love and feel passionate about and the success/money will come.  I'm following that - I love supporting kids and other adults who support kids (like teachers and troop leaders).  I've been doing this since 2008.  And every year it seems to get more and more time consuming.  But I have yet to see any kind of monetary payout.

Are you sure about that?

Yeah, yeah, I know that the skills I use in volunteering, like event planning, human resources, time management, and project management can translate into a career and money.  Ok, fine, I'll stop waiting for the money to start falling from the sky!


All kidding aside and getting back to passions...one of the reasons I volunteer is because I have a passion for fun.  And I volunteer with some seriously funny people!  Some of these people have become true friends and sisters in the cause.   People who I just adore and LOVE to hang out with them.  I also have a passion for kids, which is how I chose the organizations I support.  And I have a passion for making a difference.  After all, if not me, then who?

But a lot of people don't realize that when the fun stops, when the support doesn't get to the intended audience, then the reason for volunteering stops.  Who is going to give their free time to something that isn't giving them SOMETHING back (not money).  Giving them a purpose, giving them a sense of satisfaction, giving them some fun!

Volunteering can be serious work.  I always hated when someone said they would do something and then bailed.  Just because it's a volunteer thing doesn't mean that someone isn't relying on you doing what you said you were going to do!  Because if you say you're going to do something, say run a table at the carnival, and then you back out or even worse, don't show up, then someone else has to scramble to fill your position with another volunteer.  So, while it can (and should!) be fun, it's also something to consider carefully.  Don't just say yes without every intention to do your best.

Because what is just fun for you may just be a passion for someone else.

It's not about losing an election

Some people seem to think that I, and, maybe, Democrats in general, are just sore losers.

Maybe some of us are. I'm definitely in the mood to throw a tantrum (and have a little bit on Facebook). I know I feel as though we were robbed. Secretary Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. More people wanted her to be President than Donald Trump. Once again, Democrats, nay, the American People, were ignored during an election. Never mind how we've been ignored in the last few years by the Republican Congress...

But I digress.

We are not just sore losers. We are dealing with grief. And there are several stages to that.

Right now, I'm in the anger stage.

I am angry that someone who has publicly stated that women should be punished for abortions has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who supports conversion therapy to turn gay people straight has been elected Vice President.

I am angry that someone who has bragged about sexually assaulting women has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who has time and time again called for violence against those who disagree with him has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who has cheated hard working people out of fair pay has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who wants to ban Muslims (who happen to look like me sometimes) has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who wants to ban gay marriage has been elected President.

I am angry that someone who has called for discrimination against LGBTQ people has been elected Vice President.

I am angry that the freedom to love and marry who you want regardless of sex will be taken away from my children by our new leaders.

I am angry that acts of violence against People of Color, against other religions, against the LGBTQ community has no been legitimized by the President-elect.

I am angry because I live in a country that now thinks it is ok to elect a racist, misogynistic, bigoted bully to the highest offices in the land and have those be the representatives of America to the rest of the world.

And then the same people who stood in the way of President Obama's political and social agenda, who called him and his family racist slurs, who wished him death, these are the same people who now say we should give Trump and Pence a chance and bring the country together?

The double standard is strong with the Grand Old Party.

Yes, I am angry right now. This is the stage I am in today. And I will get through it. I just can't feel this way forever, right?? Tomorrow, I start looking for ways to channel that anger into positive work.

#NotMyPresident.

Dependability

I've been spending a lot of time working on my volunteer pursuits this month and something that has hit me big time this month is the issue of dependability.

In the non-profit or volunteerism world, dependability is a huge commodity.  Finding someone who is trustworthy and dependable is key to getting projects done.  But often someone will say they will step up to run a project but either can't do it or decide that it's too much work.  It's certainly easy to say you'll step up to run the school carnival...but it is a whole different ball of wax to actually do it and not do a half-assed job.  Way too often, I have come across people who have grand ideas but lack the ability or drive to execute.

School PTAs are prime examples of this.  Sitting in a meeting, its hard to not step up to a position when the President or Principal asks for volunteers.  Especially when that call is put out and no one else is jumping at that chance.  I know for me, I feel badly that the school is going to miss out on making money or the kids will miss out on a fun event because no one stepped up to run the project.  So, I raise my hand.  When I say I'm going to do something, I rarely let anything get in my way of getting the job done.  How many sleepless nights have I spent on projects for my girls' schools?  Too many!

I guess I've been burned enough times to not expect people to follow through anymore.  Sad, but true.  I have a fantastic group of women on my Girl Scout Service Unit management team, but I've been slow to really depend on them.  Our Service Unit oversees 40 troops in our local area.  Recently, we had a huge snafu in a schedule leading up to our Girl Scout cookie selling season and I was up until late into the night working on fixing this for Girl Scouts.  The next weekend was a big event for over 200 girls that we were putting on.  At our last planning meeting before the event, all of these ladies insisted on taking jobs off my plate, so much so that I finished all the tasks I needed to do for the big event a couple of days ahead of my planned schedule.  I was SO thankful to not be stressing out leading up to the big event.  That wouldn't have happened if it weren't for these amazing volunteers who stepped up to help me.

To me, your word is golden.  If you step up for something and don't follow through, it reflects on your character.  I'd rather someone step up to a job, then tell me that they either need to step down or need help or even need a smaller position, than desert the position and all the people who were counting on you.  It's all too easy to abandon the job in a volunteer setting because there is no penalty, like docking your paycheck  But the effects of that are felt by the people who are left holding the bag, especially in an organization like a PTA or Scouts because the people who are being let down are children.

Be honest and open about your limitations.  With yourself and with others.

Why do I do this to myself?

That is the question that Maya asked me the other night as I was stressing out about a spreadsheet I had to submit to Girl Scouts about troops in my area and where they wanted to have their cookie booths.  See, I'm the Service Unit Manager (or SUM for short) for the area and I oversee about 40 troops leaders.  This is a volunteer position, in addition to being an actual Troop Leader for Nadia's troop.  Well, as SUM, I help Girl Scouts of Greater Los Angeles (GSGLA) oversee things like troop registrations, Fall nuts and candy sales, and Spring cookies.  Usually it's not too much work, but this past week has been the exception.  Cookie sales are starting up, and as the largest fundraiser for most troops, it's very important for it to run smoothly.

It did NOT run smoothly this past week.

Selling Girl Scout cookies in front of grocery stores is usually the fastest and best way to generate sales.  So those locations, and the best days and times, are coveted by troops, especially if there are large fundraising goals by the troop.  For instance, if a troop wants to take a trip with the money they raise.  Nadia's troop is thinking about going to a dude ranch for a weekend.  One that was recommended to us costs about $200 for the weekend per girl.  That means, if we are to cover it with our sales, each girl in our troop would have to sell about 200 boxes of cookies to cover her trip.  Actually a little more than 200 boxes as we get to keep $0.95 per box of cookies sold.  It's easy to sell between 100 and 200 boxes of cookies at just one 3 hour booth.

Anyway, so back to booth locations.  The ones at the big stores like Ralphs are coveted, especially on the weekends and during daylight hours.  So there is an online program that has all the locations that opens up at a certain time for booth sign up.  And this past week, that was on Thursday night at 6:30pm.  It's a mad rush to grab up those good spots!  The system can crash or lag due to hundreds of troop leaders trying to get online and grab up that Saturday 2pm-5pm booth spot at the large Ralphs grocery story on Ventura Blvd.  Those spots can be gone in a matter of seconds.

Well, guess what locations were not in the system at 6:30pm on Thursday night??

OH THE MADNESS!  OH THE PANIC (MAINLY ON MY PART)! OH THE HUMANITY!

I don't know how to share the fiasco that ensued without explaining why this was a big deal.  On the first night of booth sign ups, you are only allowed to sign up for booths in your immediate Service Unit area.  Service Units are divided up by zip code.  So, a troop in a zip code neighboring us cannot sign up for booths in our Service Unit on that first night.  For our Service Unit, this is a big deal because our grocery stores are really busy and are in a higher income neighborhood.  Neighboring Service Units want to come to our grocery stores to booth,  The fact that they weren't in the system for the only night that they are reserved for us was a huge deal.

Yes, Girl Scout Cookies Season is SERIOUS BUSINESS, GUYS.

As SUM, I knew this wasn't fair to the troops in my area.  So I did what I felt was necessary - had to do a private booth sign up session before the next time the booth scheduler program would be open.  All the prime locations were going to be in the system on Saturday night, but it would also be open for any troop to sign up for slots.  So, at 8pm on Friday night, I had a private booth sign up session via email.

My email BLEW UP at 8pm!  It was first email, first served, and I had 40 troops emailing me exactly at 8pm.  I had to go in the order it was received, down to the seconds.  Oh but then came the joy of scheduling all the choices that came in.  I had 4 charts with locations and dates and times, and two spreadsheets with all of the choices.  I had to do all those by hand because it was just easier to have it all spread out on the dining table.  Then had to transcribe it all into the final spreadsheet.  It was 1am when I finally finished that and sent it to GSGLA.  I think I'm still recovering from that evening.

But the WHOLE point of this post came from Maya.  Everyone in the family knew of the stress I was going through over this mess.  She came out of her room around 11pm and sat down at the table with me.  Just to keep me company.  After listening to my endless sighs, she asked me, "Why do you do this?"

At various points throughout this fiasco, I had asked myself this too.  But it's always the same answer: because I believe in the cause.  In this case, it is Girl Scouts.  And the biggest problem with Girl Scouts is that there aren't enough leaders.  We have girls on waiting lists for new troops to start or for existing ones to have openings.  We have a lack of leaders.  So, I volunteer because I want to help leaders who have stepped up.  Because leading a troop is not easy.  It isn't all crafts and cookies all the time!

If not me, who?

My last 4 days of winter vacation was stressful and a blur of dates, times, and troop numbers.  But in the end, if I helped a troop earn money to go on a trip or do a service project, then I feel that it is worth it.