The Arts

Two weekends ago, Nadia had her theater show performances.  She is in the Academy of Children's Theater and they do three shows a year - Spring, Summer, and Fall.  Well, this Spring they did Annie.  Nadia got the part of Grace Farrell, Oliver Warbucks' personal secretary.  It was another great show - she's been in 7 shows with them over the last 3 years.  I love the whole process but I have to say I'm always glad when it's over too.  She loves it but it takes up a lot of time, especially at the end.  The last week is always Tech Week - rehearsals every day, Monday-Thursday from 4-8pm at the theater.  Shows were Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday matinee.  I usually volunteer my time, doing things like box office sales, concession stand, etc.  Well, this time I did concession stand on Friday night, box office on Saturday, and I worked backstage on Sunday.  Sunday also happened to be Mother's Day.  While not exactly my ideal Mother's Day, it was still fun being backstage with my daughter and the other kids.  I got to see a side of her that I haven't seen in a while - the working actress, making sure costume changes were ready to go, other actors were ready in for their cues, and doing the little backstage rituals with a couple of other actors.  There was one, she did a little pinky swear type thing with one of the boys in the cast before every scene...it was cute.  But also, surprising in that it was something a "big kid" would do.  Well, not exactly...I don't know how to explain it.  It was just something like a good luck ritual?  Nothing elaborate - but when I think of my 11-year-old doing something like that...I find it surprising.  I guess it's just another sign of her growing up and maturing.

I don't know how to explain this!  She's the baby of the family.  Lately, she's been making me do a double take when I look at her.  The elegance with which she walks...she's a dancer and has a dancer's body.  Graceful, muscular.  She's growing up - she's taller, she's a bit more self conscious, not a little girl.  She had to wear elegant clothing for this part, and heels.  And boy how she wore them!  A couple of times during the week, she wore them to rehearsal with a skirt and geez...her long legs with definition from all the hours spent at the ballet studio.  Sheesh.

I keep wondering how I got to be a mother to a 15-year-old and an 11-year-old.  Where did the time go?

Turning Points

Yesterday was a turning point for me in a couple of different ways.

First, my relationship with my daughter, M, changed for the better.  We had a major falling out on Sunday night about a certain class she was taking and Monday morning, we were still at odds.  So much so, that she barely said goodbye to me and that rocked me to my core.  I took the day off from work to wrap my brain around what had happened.  And I cleaned her room while she was at school.  You see, she's 15 years old, in 9th grade, and a typical teenager in that her room was a disaster.  While that wasn't what we fought over, it was a constant sticking point for me.  So, after breakfast and moping around the house, I got down to business.  I didn't do everything I wanted, but I made a huge dent in her room.  Part of the reason for me cleaning her room is because I feel like the clutter in causing clutter in her brain.  I know the feeling.  I am not the best housekeeper, but when I do clean up, I feel so much more at peace.  So, I did this to help her.

I tried to meet with her school counselor to talk to her about what was going on at school and then ran into her tennis coach.  This woman is amazing.  What every teacher should be - tries to teach to the whole child.  It was meant to be for me to run into her after trying to meet up with M's counselor.  She could see that things were not great and took a few minutes to talk to me.  And put me at ease about everything.  Gave me some helpful insight, tips on how to fix the situation, and helped me relax.  Most importantly, helped M relax.  I picked up M after my meetings and we went to Coffee Bean to sit and talk.  She was not in the mood, but she opened up after some prodding.  It was like opening up a dam.  We were there for almost 2 hours.  We got through some tough issues between us.  I feel like I'm always yelling at her.  She feels like all I ever do is criticize.  I feel like she doesn't hear me.  She feels like I don't care about anything except for school.  I feel like she is slipping away.  She feels like I don't understand what it is like to be a high schooler.

Typical mother-teenage daughter stuff.

But I know we made a breakthrough when I got home today and M was home before me - and put away the trash cans without me asking her.

Yup, she heard me yesterday.  I'm enjoying this renewed closeness...while it lasts!

The second turning point for me yesterday?  Starting this blog.

I've had blogs in the past.  I kept a pretty steady one when our family lived in South Korea and about a year after we came back.  http://priyabradfield.livejournal.com A lot of it is private now...it was a tumultuous time in my life.

I've had other blogs that I've tried to start up since that one.  Didn't keep them going.  Maybe I just didn't have the need before.  Maybe it's just right, now.  We'll see.  :)

Mommy is slightly lost.

Getting back to me is hard.  I've been "Mommy" for so long (15 years already!) that I sometimes forget what I was interested in before I had kids.  Hobbies I'm known for now - scrapbooking, volunteering, crochet - I picked up that stuff after the kids came along.  I read a lot more before, I think.  The perfect date night with my husband, Chris, was dinner, coffee, bookstore until midnight.  We miss Borders Bookstores.  Um, I worked a lot.  But then again, I had a full-time job outside of the home.  I played a lot of video games with my husband.  We still sometimes do that, but now we have to involve the girls.

I liked to write.  I got a journalism and international relations degree in college.  I have an opinion about the Oxford Comma.  (Yes, in case you were wondering.)  So, that is what I am returning to.  Writing.  Slowly.  Oh, so slowly.

This is a start.