Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Tuning out the NOISE

Ever feel like you can’t get one thing done before you start something else?  Like a project or a task at home?  I recently had this experience:

I went to the kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee.  But my favorite mug still had the dregs from the cup of coffee I had earlier that morning, so I went to the sink to rinse it out.  But there were some dishes in there left from breakfast, so I decided to get them done since I was there anyway.  As I was doing those dishes, the dish soap dispenser ran out of dish soap, so I had to refill it.  As I was getting the jug of dish soap out to refill the dispenser, I saw that we were out of sponges and ziplock baggies (since I keep those in the same cabinet as the dish soap).  So I looked for a notepad to start a list for shopping.  When I found the notepad, I saw my to-do list from the previous day.  I added “start an Amazon order for kitchen supplies” to the to-do list.  Suddenly I remembered that I had gotten an email from Amazon the day before about my monthly subscription order that needed to be reviewed.  I decided to pull up that tab on my computer so that I wouldn’t forget to do it the next time I sat down at the computer.  When I pulled up the subscription order up, I saw that coffee beans were the first thing on the list.

And that’s when I realized that 20 minutes had passed since I had walked into the kitchen to get that elusive cup of coffee.  The noise in my brain led me off the path.

This happens to me all the time online.  I try to focus on my email, but there are links to follow, to read through, which usually contains even more links to click through.  Link after link, like a wild goose chase….and suddenly it’s 40 minutes later and I’ve only gotten rid of 1-2 emails!  

This happens to me when I’m writing too. I start to write a blog post and I realize that I need to look up something or do a bit of research.  Or I want to find out if anyone else has written about the topic that I’m writing about.  Google searching is the worst - so many links to follow!!

Don’t even get me started on the time I sink into Facebook or Instagram or Twitter!

I mentioned this to my husband, Chris, the other day.  How I want to write more, want to start freelancing, and just need to do it.  Chris suggested that we start turning off the internet for an hour each evening to work on our projects without the lure of the Internet.  He has projects he wants to tackle too.  Our kids may have issues with it, or maybe they’ll take that time to work on their own projects.  I think we’ll try this after I get back from my trip.

Speaking of my trip, he also suggested that I take the time on my 5 hour flight to NYC to just write since I wasn’t springing for the Wifi on the plane.  And guess what?  It worked.  This was one of the posts I wrote on the plane without the Internet noise to distract me.  And I’ve gotten about 3 other posts started and almost finished.  Why almost?  Because my mind started to spit out all these topics I wanted to write about!  All these topics that have been bubbling inside started to spill out and I felt like I had to write what was coming out otherwise I’d forget those ideas.  Still noise, but at least it all has to do with writing.


Sometimes, you really have to consciously turn down the external noise so you can hear your internal voice speak. 

Friday, July 8, 2016

Living Authentically

We go through life being told that we should live authentically.  We should listen to our hearts and follow it's advice.  Live our lives out loud and not conform to how society says we should live.

How many of us actually learn how to do this?  I'm 44 years old and I'm not sure I'm doing it right or at all.  I have convictions, beliefs, ideals, and I adhere to those bigger ideals.  But on a day-to-day basis, I feel as though I'm playing catch up.

But I know at least one person who is living authentically.  My child.  I'm not talking about Nadia, for once.  I'm talking about my other child, Damian.

I am a mother to a transgender person.  Maya is now Damian.

It has been quite a trip for the past 6 months since HE came out to us.  I have struggled with the thought of now having a son.  That is a topic for another post though.  For 16 years, I was the mother of two girls who were as different as can be.  Now I come to find out one of those girls doesn't feel right presenting as a girl.  Doesn't want to hide who he really is anymore.

The amount of courage that takes is tremendous.  I am in awe of the strength of character this takes.  I am happy to know that I had something to do with the building of that strength.  I am thrilled to realize that we created a bond that allowed Damian to trust us with his true self even if that true self wasn't manifested on the outside physical being.

I recently saw this:

It is so true.  I had no idea about my own child. But the flip side of this is also true: All parents should be aware that when they express support for LGBTQ issues, may be supporting their own child.  I'd like to think that whenever I posted something in support of LGBTQ rights or condemned violence or oppression of the LGBTQ community, I was showing my child that our family is a safe place to be who you truly are.  A place to truly live authentically.

I am a proud parent to a transgender individual.  

We all have choices in our lives regarding the person we grow into.  I'm so very proud of the person you are choosing to become and I love you always, Damian.